Naughty. Sexy. Bitchy.

by Evans Yonson

(Note: This blog originally appeared in my Multiply account on 2 April 2005. In the coming days, I will be posting blogs written between 2004 and 2006 and posted in Multiply. The site will be offline soon thus the migration of several blog entries.)

Madrid – There are so many ways of killing a cat. But a man courting another of the same gender is graciously accounted for. Witnessing how these homos court, in the international dorm that I am living right now, is fun enough to kill time. The homos are from the continent where male machismo is the rule of the game. Coming out is simply taboo. If you’re gay, hide in your closet for life. But if you’re not in your continent, go ahead and flaunt. To cut the long story short, they are not homos dahling. Just plain and simple male acting fags. A woman trapped in a man’s body. Madonna inside Bruce. Britney inside Eminem.

Homo A has a gringo. But since gringo went away for a holiday. Homo A has to find a replacement.

Homo B wants to take Manhattan . Homo B has another gringo. But since gringo is not as interesting after all the months of courtship, Homo B has to find another.

Island Boy. Young. A looker. Fresh and cuddly. Friendly. Innocent. Clueless.


Scene 1: Homo A knocks at Island Boy’s door. Comes in. Talks and talks. Homo A exits.

Scene 2: Homo B knocks at Island Boy’s door. Comes in. Talks and talks. Homo B exits.

Scene 3: At dinner, Homo A calls Island Boy to join him. Homo B has to devise a plan. After, Homo B calls Island Boy and asks nonsensical questions just to keep Homo A waiting crazy for Island Boy. Homo B talks to Island Boy endlessly till Island Boy invites Homo B to his room. Homo A is left downstairs waiting because Homo B and Island Boy took the elevator. Poor Homo A.

Scene 4: After midnight and everyone else has settled into their beds, Homo A knocks at Island Boy’s door. Ever accomodating, Island Boy opens door and lets Homo A come in. But Island Boy keeps the door half open. Homo A comes out after 2 hours. Poor Homo B.

Island Boy goes on a holiday. Homos A and B are left waiting. Living their separate and non-colorful lives.

Scene 5: Island Boy comes back from holiday. Homos A and B are on high heavens. Homo A calls Island Boy. Homo B knocks on Island Boy’s door.

Scene 6: Island Boy takes a bag of fruits. Knocks on Homo C’s door. Hands Homo C the bag. Island Boy hugs Homo C.

Realization: Who the hell is Homo C?

Moral of the story: Never underestimate the power of homos. Homos A and B may have their strategies, but they have forgotten that there is one naughtier, sexier and bitchier fag than they. Needless to say, that fag is ME!