a love forever lost…

by Evans Yonson

(Note: During my first year in Spain, I fell in love and out of love by my own making and mistake. I fell in love with the right person at that right moment but I was not ready to settle down and be with him for a longer drive. I wrote this piece in October 2005 during my studies in Madrid, Spain.)

madrid – when i met Francisco in december 2004, it was only a one-night stand. Something to warm one spanish december

morning. he walked away and was never heard of after 8 months.

on the last week of August, i had the surprise of my life when i received a call from him.

“Estoy en Madrid. Quiero verte ahora,” he said.

“Quien eres?” i asked.

“Soy Francisco,” he answered.

“Quien?” i asked again in irritation.

“Conocimos en diciembre en Chueca. Y luego estaba en tu habitacion una noche,” he replied.

suddenly it dawned on me that he was the guy i met in Chueca (madrid’s gay district). he wanted to see me. i gladly invited him over but with hesitation because i was not ready to meet him again.

he arrived on the appointed time. he was the same guy i met in December. longer hair this time. but i was no longer the person that i was back then. i have changed a lot.

and to his surprise i was already talking to him in spanish without stammering anymore.

he’s back in my life now. it’s been 3 months now since he arrived. i cut his hair from rapunzel’s length to beckham’s shaved look. he helped me move my stuff. he visits me on weekends. every moment with him is very precious for me because in him i found the company that i have always longed for since september 2004.

friends are very wary that he’s in it for the money. francisco never demanded anything from me. he knows my limitations. i could never give him financial support as i’m still struggling to find stability here in Madrid.

he’s never in it for the bucks. i hope and pray that it stays that way.

for now….

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