shaving all my love for you

by Evans Yonson

(Warning: This entry contains some sensitive matters that others might find offensive. This entry does not come with any photograph at all.)

Barcelona – A few days ago, a very good friend popped a question while we were chatting online, “why not write something about the pubic hair?” At first I was a bit surprised because earlier we were just talking about Christian education and spirituality and how it has influenced us to be the persons that we are now. But come to think of it really, why not?

Growing up in a religious exclusive school for boys, physical changes were not discussed openly or academically but rather just among the students. We were left to ourselves. There was simply no explaining why my bestfriend’s voice changed from soprano to base or why my underarm smelled after a day of running here and there in school.

What’s with the pubic hair? I am not a medical doctor to give all of you very precise medical descriptions. But my expertise on this matter would come from the travels and experiences that I have had in my more than two decades of  sexual life.

Accordingly, the pubic hair is the hair found in the genital area, the crotch and sometimes between the legs and all the way to your butt hole. These area form the pubic region. When we were younger, we had hair in this region but this was called the vellus hair then. The term pubic hair is generally restricted to the coarser, darker and longer that develops during puberty due to androgens. From the vellus hair, it is now called the androgenic hair.

I started having pubic hair when I was 15 years old. I was already two years late than my classmates, when they were already pulling and comparing their hair in the toilets. But once I started having those hair, it immediately went from grass to bush to overgrowth. I wasn’t conscious of the cornucopia between my fat legs until I started discovering the fun of being with someone.

My sexual life is not your typical violent tropical storm but rather the kind of slow flowing lava after a major eruption. Slow and intense. Never fast and furious. Never. Because I like to savor the aroma of my coffee and milk with ease before gulping it with gusto. I have had coffee from all over -Colombian, Brazilian, Spanish, Russian, Romanian, American, Danish, Dutch, Arab, and more than a hundred local Filipino varieties. Honestly, I don’t find pleasure anymore with the Philippine coffee. They smell a lot. The foreigners, well the ones I had the pleasure of sharing my bed and pillows for the night, do not smell at all. In fact, they have a special aroma. This made me wonder as I held that mighty strong stick before stirring the whole coffee thing.

What is the difference? What makes these encounters totally different from my Philippine escapades. As I throb the stick, I found out the answer to my problem. Most foreigners shave. Most Filipinos don’t. Even though Filipinos are circumcised, sexual practices are taboo matters. Generally we don’t openly talk about things like shaving pubic hair or foreplay. Collectively we are not so conscious how our thing smells especially after urinating.

For the uncut, the accumulation of smegma in the foreskin contributes to the fishy smell. Earlier on in life, they are taught how to wash their organs carefully to avoid smegma otherwise it will be stinky. For the cut, smegma is seldom because of the crown’s exposure and easy washing. However, most Filipinos are carefree about their smell. We can probably trace it to the Filipino male machismo. This maybe is changing in the 21st century. I still have to look into my coffee once I get there soon. Be that as it may, such congruence to the Filipino male character makes it even worse for Filipinos are known to take a bath everyday. This smell phenomenon occurs due to frequent visits to the urinals especially when men gather for parties and drinking sprees. The more one drinks, the higher the frequency of visit to the toilet. The more frequent, the smelly it gets. The more drinks, the more macho one feels. The more he becomes sexually aggressive. Although we love our partners to be active but that unwanted olfactory experience makes everything go away. Take that Japanese girl in Bilbao.

But the foreign counterpart is another tale. The more beer bottles or gin tonic are consumed, the more conscious they become of their organ’s smell. Drinking empowers self-confidence thus the higher the chances of meeting and mating and the more careful they become. Otherwise the partner would not like doing it due to the bad smell.

The pubic hair aggravates the smell of the whole package. So if you don’t shave it, the more unsavory the coffee will be. It’s like sweating the whole day and you just let your hair and head dry. It will most likely create a dull scent and itchy feeling. Now, cover it with your underwear and factor in the humidity beneath those Calvins. What do you get? Poor unfortunate organ.Marketability? Nil!

Some people don’t like shaving because of the itchy feeling one has when the hair grows back after a few days. The itchy feeling is normal. But if it’s really disturbing then you can always put some lotion to ease the pain. The ladies can easily shave theirs but the men would find it harder (pun intended). The balls always get in the way.

Pubic? Or no pubic? I still find grass sexier than the overgrowth and the denuded forest. It all boils down to one major factor: smell. So just shave it, my love!!!