I’m dead tired

by Evans Yonson

(Note: This entry was written on my last month in Madrid in 2005. It was part of my countdown africa series that I wrote for 30 days in September. All the photographs appearing in today´s entry were taken from the internet.)

madrid – i’m tired. the thesis is still hanging in the atmosphere of sustainable development.

i’m sick and tired of this countdown. what the hell did i start this countdown for? to agonize myself everyday for the past 31 days? to be nostalgic? to make fun of myself at the expense of those around me?

Almost there. But not yet.

i’m tired because it’s september 30 and my birthday will be in another week. i’m tired because i’ve been waiting for this day to be over. i’m tired because i want to move out as soon as possible. i’m tired because i’ve been moving my things from africa to my new apartment. i’m tired of thinking about the others who will be staying and who will be leaving. i’m tired of imagining what would life be beyond africa.

Tired. Complaining but not too much.

come to think of it, why should i be tired at all?

And the countdown is on...

i’m starting work soon. i’m very much healthy. i’m celebrating my 26th birthday next week. i’m living a new life after the scholarship. i’m enjoying the company of francisco. i’m so excited to get away from it all.

It´s a gay party after all.

and besides, i’m thankful that i have been blest with all these. thankful that i’ve been afforded this opportunity of meeting people and studying in spain.

now, i’m thankful but i’m still tired. all i need now is a good night’s rest african-style with francisco beside me. and that i should be thankful for.